Wearing a Mask Isn't Just a Halloween Thing

Have you ever visited a country that’s not your own?   You probably put some effort into learning that country’s language, dress and customs before you go.  Why?  Because you want to feel accepted by the people whose country you’re in - so you put effort into saying “please” and “thank you” in a language that’s not your own and when you’re in public you try hard to practice their customs.  It takes extra work, but you do it because you don't want to stand out as a tourist in someone else's country.

People with neurodivergent brains live this way every single day.   For someone with ADHD or autism living in the neurotypical world  is like living in a country that isn’t their own.  Their brains aren’t operating the same way, so they have to adjust and adapt in order to fit in:   they learn how to talk, how to act, and how to relate with others in ways that may not feel natural to them but help them blend in and feel accepted. It’s called, MASKING, and takes energy every day.

Masking is about suppressing neurodivergent symptoms and working to mimic the characteristics of the neurotypical world.  Some professionals use the term, “camouflaging,” because the goal of masking is to try to appear neurotypical.  But after a day of working hard at keeping a mask on – whether it’s at school, at home, or at work – ADHD brains can feel extra tired.  Masking has been shown to be connected to increased stress , depression and social anxiety in both youth and adults.  Girls and women, especially, have been shown to express some of the negative effects of masking.

If you live with ADHD or a neurodivergent brain, coaching can be a powerful resource to help you identify your unique expressions of masking and understand how it impacts your energy levels, relationships and mental health.  If you want to explore how coaching can help you,  free to contact me at ellen@ellensteeleadhdcoach.com or use the contact form on my website.

Grimell J, Ericson M, Frick MA. Identity work among girls with ADHD: struggling with Me and I, impression management, and social camouflaging in school. Front Psychol. 2025 Jul 16;16:1591135. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1591135. PMID: 40741436; PMCID: PMC12308699.

Hull, L., Levy, L., Lai, MC. et al. Is social camouflaging associated with anxiety and depression in autistic adults?. Molecular Autism 12, 13 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1186/s13229-021-00421-1